The After Effects

I was not sure how today would play out now that I am free to eat anything I want. Rather surprisingly, my first urge was not to pounce upon everything I've missed since I started. Contrary to what one might think, all that self-restraint one builds up for twenty-one days does not just evaporate when freedom comes. I see all these foods before me and think, "Yes, I could eat these cookies, but I would rather not lose my new physical stamina." Or, "Yes, I could have an egg, toast, and a glass of milk, but who knows how they may affect me if I have them all at once?" I have decided to ease back into my previous menu, rather than diving right into it.

It was interesting shopping with a broadened menu through the kitchen this morning. A bowl of sugar and cinnamon sat on the counter. I thought, "No, can't have that. Oh wait. Yes I can." Then a jar of peanut butter beckoned to me. The thoughts repeated. This process has been going on all day. When I first began I didn't realize how thoroughly this fast would permeate my life, but it has rooted itself deep into my daily routine. I would say. The foods I missed the most were the ones that crunch, namely, crackers, chips, cornmeal, and grains. I love the taste of zuchinni and onions, but all the veggies were soft or starchy, and never quite satisfied that desire for a crunchy snack. Oddly enough, the first thing I ate today was a tiny tiny nibble of dodol susu, an Indonesian sweet much like a tootsie roll. Even with that small bite, the flavor was overpowering. I made that my sweet for the day. For breakfast, I finally decided on an egg with cheese on top, along with a grapefruit and cranberries. For lunch, I brought a plain baked potato to work as it was already cooked, healthy, filling, and available. For a snack, I chose to eat a banana. The biggest most delightful change of pace came at supper time. I bathed my long awaited spaggetti noodles in a delectable meatless sauce. I relished those grain-based tubular ingredients. It has been an interesting process between what I can now have and what I could not, and the two are gradually but uniquely intertwining themselves back into my menu.