I've come to the one-week marker of this fast. Today, however, it has not really felt like a fast to me. There were a lot of tasty fancy foods presented to me today. I made myself a nice salad for breakfast. For lunch I was offered a free pass to a cafeteria while on a college campus. I went straight to the vegan section and topped my salad with a mound of tomatoes, chickpeas, split peas, green peas, gourmet raisins, and shredded carrots. When I sat down, the student next to me asked, "Are you a vegetarian?" I knew that question would be coming, so I prepared my answer in advance. "No," I said, "I just wanted a lot of vegetables today." Which was true. I didn't tell her I wanted to eat veggies for the next fourteen days. I got so full that the salad kept me over till supper, which was another filling dish of boiled butternut squash soup with cranberries, kalamata olives, beans, and other creative ingredients. On the side we had, yes, salad, with a homemade dressing.
I thought at that point, "okay, now I will not eat anything more." However, the youth group Access has just changed its leadership, and the new pastor invited us all over to his house. There, delicately placed on the kitchen table were an assortment of vegetables and dips. The new pastor, Blake, announced that the snacks were carefully made to be "fast-approved" for those members of the church who were participating. Admittedly, I had my fair share. I couldn't help feeling a little guilty for stuffing myself.
Daniel fasted from desirable foods. With so many good options out there now, I am battling with how to define "desirable" because I desire all the foods I've been presented with. Technically, I can eat all of them in any amount, so in that sense I didn't break my fast. Still, they are appealing. I think I'll try to be less liberal tomorrow and study more. I am going to need to find a balance here, especially when I do activities where food is a given.
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 6, 2011
Daniel fast, Day 6
After not eating anything for three days, I am never going to complain again (not that I ever did) about only being able to eat vegetables. It has made me very grateful for what I have. I can't tell you how good it feels to have something in my stomach. Those three days have taken a lot out of me. Even after having a meal last night, I was rather surprised to find how weak I was in the morning since I normally just pop right out bed. I pumped myself full of tomato juice and let it circulate. I feel so much better now.
The spiritual effects of that fast have left a lasting mark. As I drew near to the worshipers gathered tonight at Access, Resurrection life's youth service, I felt swept up into the praise. I sensed that I was more in tune to the things of the spirit, and it's possible that many others gathered there may have been too while fasting and seeking God in prayer. It was as though God's presence was there in an unusually strong way. I am glad I came and joined them tonight in worship.
I thought back to many other wonderful services just like the one I went to tonight. I thought about how easy it was for me to sing about how I have given my heart to Jesus and will do what he says. I meant it then and I mean it now. After those three days, however, those words take on a lot more meaning. It's easy to say I'll follow when I'm not experiencing the pain that sometimes comes from following. When I'm right there in it, as I was yesterday, it's a lot harder to sing those kinds of songs happily. Then I look at Jesus, who fasted forty days. Three is hard. His deep love for me really has started to grow down from my mind into the soil of my heart.
I believe Christ's love will continue to take root in my life as I journey through this fast.
The spiritual effects of that fast have left a lasting mark. As I drew near to the worshipers gathered tonight at Access, Resurrection life's youth service, I felt swept up into the praise. I sensed that I was more in tune to the things of the spirit, and it's possible that many others gathered there may have been too while fasting and seeking God in prayer. It was as though God's presence was there in an unusually strong way. I am glad I came and joined them tonight in worship.
I thought back to many other wonderful services just like the one I went to tonight. I thought about how easy it was for me to sing about how I have given my heart to Jesus and will do what he says. I meant it then and I mean it now. After those three days, however, those words take on a lot more meaning. It's easy to say I'll follow when I'm not experiencing the pain that sometimes comes from following. When I'm right there in it, as I was yesterday, it's a lot harder to sing those kinds of songs happily. Then I look at Jesus, who fasted forty days. Three is hard. His deep love for me really has started to grow down from my mind into the soil of my heart.
I believe Christ's love will continue to take root in my life as I journey through this fast.
Jan 5, 2011
The three-days fast: Day 3
It has officially been 36 hours now. I can't wait to finish this post so I can go eat. Yesterday was harder than today, but today was still difficult. My hunger never really died down, except in the morning. I weighed myself before and after the three-days fast to find I lost five pounds. Most people would be excited about this, but I'm not. I want to eat so badly and I feel like devouring a glutinous feast. However, from my other fasts, I know I will need to eat a little bit a time, or else I will feel uncomfortably bloated, even though I haven't eaten much, because my stomach has shrank. It has been very tough, but by God's strength I've made it all the way through.
As I mentioned earlier, my main purpose for fasting was to discover who I am in Christ and where he would lead me. Well, God has answered that prayer. I now have a more clear understanding of these things and will continue to grow in them, but I believe the basics I have long been searching for have been given me. Most of them were shown to me at a time that I really did not want to study, however, a verse came to mind that pushed me forward. In Franklin's book, fasting, of which I have read half, he says that assignments from God all have a birthplace, and fasting is a great way to discover these assignments. The verse that inspired me is found in Isaiah 66:9a: "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the Lord." I was in the pangs of childbirth, and the infant given birth was my divine purpose. Fasting is very hard during the process, but in the end, the reward is greater than the pain.
Tomorrow I return to the Daniel fast, and I'm trusting God to give me the strength to fast as I should.
As I mentioned earlier, my main purpose for fasting was to discover who I am in Christ and where he would lead me. Well, God has answered that prayer. I now have a more clear understanding of these things and will continue to grow in them, but I believe the basics I have long been searching for have been given me. Most of them were shown to me at a time that I really did not want to study, however, a verse came to mind that pushed me forward. In Franklin's book, fasting, of which I have read half, he says that assignments from God all have a birthplace, and fasting is a great way to discover these assignments. The verse that inspired me is found in Isaiah 66:9a: "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the Lord." I was in the pangs of childbirth, and the infant given birth was my divine purpose. Fasting is very hard during the process, but in the end, the reward is greater than the pain.
Tomorrow I return to the Daniel fast, and I'm trusting God to give me the strength to fast as I should.
Jan 4, 2011
The three-days fast: Day 2
It has been 48 hours now. Although the morning was rough, I felt better in the evening. I feel like someone has tied a rope around my stomach and pulled it tight. It seems to be too crammed together to feel hunger the way hunger normally feels. I'm still know I'm hungry, but in a different way. It is he kind that you know if ate you would feel energized, but not the kind where your intestines are crying out for something to process. Speaking of that, I'm beginning to feel my digestive system begin to turn off, but not completely. I expect that to happen tomorrow.
Spiritually speaking, I'm growing. I haven't had angels come down and minister to me today, but I have had some beneficial experiences. I find the most comforting thing to do while fasting is to praise God in worship. It helps me forget about my stomach, which is overcome by a sense of God's presence in a way that gives me strength to go on. Moreover, I've been fighting myself with strength I didn't even know I had.
One thing I've been learning is that fasting is not about learning to never desire pleasurable things again but about temporarily setting aside what I want to seek and focus on God. I may still desire pleasant things, but God will give me the strength to want what he wants more than what I desire and to temporarily not satisfy those desires for the glory of God.
Spiritually speaking, I'm growing. I haven't had angels come down and minister to me today, but I have had some beneficial experiences. I find the most comforting thing to do while fasting is to praise God in worship. It helps me forget about my stomach, which is overcome by a sense of God's presence in a way that gives me strength to go on. Moreover, I've been fighting myself with strength I didn't even know I had.
One thing I've been learning is that fasting is not about learning to never desire pleasurable things again but about temporarily setting aside what I want to seek and focus on God. I may still desire pleasant things, but God will give me the strength to want what he wants more than what I desire and to temporarily not satisfy those desires for the glory of God.
Jan 3, 2011
The three-days fast: Day 1
It has officially been 24 hours now. I've done this kind of fast before, but it feels a little bit different this time. I don't have the headache tonight I usually feel (which is normal during fasting), but I didn't study as intensely or as long as usual either. Honestly, I'm not really that hungry right now. I don't have that wrenching feeling in the pit of my abdomen, but it is still a difficult thing to visit the kitchen. I go there for water, but other foods are in view. I think I am going to hide them when I finish this post.
I've been reading a book from Reslife's Word Shop entitled Fasting by Jentezen Franklin. I can tell Pastor Duane read it before preaching his sermon on fasting, because some of the points in his sermon are also found in the book. However, the book offers more in depth insights into the benefits and taxes to one's body, mind, and spirit.
The book recommends drinking a gallon of water throughout the first three days of fasting. Not only will you feel full, Franklin says, but you will also flush out toxins from the body that have accumulated. I measured my glass and, according to my estimate, I will need to be drinking fifteen of them per day. I only made it to six and half. Yes, drinking a lot of water is good, but I hate that feeling of chilling cold water in winter which awakens my stomach when I drink it. The first five glasses quenched my thirst, but I would rather drink no more after that and close off my stomach than frequently remind it of how empty it is.
Even though fasting can be unpleasant, I believe the benefits are worth it. As I draw close to God, fighting my body as I do, he shows me things I didn't see before---things I would not have known on my own. My motivations are becoming more clear. Why do I do what I do? This is helping me better understand what I should do with my life. It is a painful process, but I believe the benefits are worth it.
I've been reading a book from Reslife's Word Shop entitled Fasting by Jentezen Franklin. I can tell Pastor Duane read it before preaching his sermon on fasting, because some of the points in his sermon are also found in the book. However, the book offers more in depth insights into the benefits and taxes to one's body, mind, and spirit.
The book recommends drinking a gallon of water throughout the first three days of fasting. Not only will you feel full, Franklin says, but you will also flush out toxins from the body that have accumulated. I measured my glass and, according to my estimate, I will need to be drinking fifteen of them per day. I only made it to six and half. Yes, drinking a lot of water is good, but I hate that feeling of chilling cold water in winter which awakens my stomach when I drink it. The first five glasses quenched my thirst, but I would rather drink no more after that and close off my stomach than frequently remind it of how empty it is.
Even though fasting can be unpleasant, I believe the benefits are worth it. As I draw close to God, fighting my body as I do, he shows me things I didn't see before---things I would not have known on my own. My motivations are becoming more clear. Why do I do what I do? This is helping me better understand what I should do with my life. It is a painful process, but I believe the benefits are worth it.
Jan 2, 2011
Day 2
Two things stand out to me about Day Two. The first is really strange. I feel extremely full while eating my vegetables, but it wears off quickly. The second thing I've noticed is a result of the first. The Daniel fast is beginning to feel like the half fast it is and not a diet because I am usually slightly hungry. I was especially hungry at work today as I worked this particularly physical job. It was not a painful, wrenching hunger, but I still heard my stomach grumble this morning. As I waited for lunch-hour, time passed by as sluggishly as I felt. On the positive side, a sweet sense of satisfaction came over me when I sat down to eat, knowing I had resisted till then. It's a pleasant thing to battle King Stomach and win. But tomorrow, the real test begins.
Jan 1, 2011
Day 1
Today I began the Daniel fast. As I said earlier, I will begin the three-day fast on Monday or Tuesday, but today and tomorrow I will Daniel fast (as I'm working). I've decided to try taking out all breads and see how it goes. All is fine so far.
After work I ate some veggie soup. To be honest, I had about three bowls. I told myself I was doing it to prevent getting too hungry. Afterward, it began to eat away at me. I'm supposed to be denying hunger, not preventing it. New tactic: eat one serving, two tops. This normal portion will make me feel hunger later on.
Normally, I have a nighttime snack. As I was reading a book on Christian living a couple of hours ago, I began to feel this ever so slight desire for a snack creep in on me. No. I know I am allowed to have snacks, but personally, I want to avoid them. Especially if they're the kind to undermine what I'm trying to do. There it was again. Eat chocolate. Eat an apple. Eat anything other than the vegetables you have been eating all day long. No. I will find a new source of food---spiritual nourishment from God.
As I sat there controlling my appetite, I was feeding spirit. The Christian book I was reading helped me put some disjointed ideas together and come to some conclusions about things I've been really thinking about. I'm discovering who I am in Christ, that I am not whatever career path I choose; I belong to Christ. He is in me. This is something I really wanted to get out of this fast. I look forward to seeing more clearly who I am in Christ.
After work I ate some veggie soup. To be honest, I had about three bowls. I told myself I was doing it to prevent getting too hungry. Afterward, it began to eat away at me. I'm supposed to be denying hunger, not preventing it. New tactic: eat one serving, two tops. This normal portion will make me feel hunger later on.
Normally, I have a nighttime snack. As I was reading a book on Christian living a couple of hours ago, I began to feel this ever so slight desire for a snack creep in on me. No. I know I am allowed to have snacks, but personally, I want to avoid them. Especially if they're the kind to undermine what I'm trying to do. There it was again. Eat chocolate. Eat an apple. Eat anything other than the vegetables you have been eating all day long. No. I will find a new source of food---spiritual nourishment from God.
As I sat there controlling my appetite, I was feeding spirit. The Christian book I was reading helped me put some disjointed ideas together and come to some conclusions about things I've been really thinking about. I'm discovering who I am in Christ, that I am not whatever career path I choose; I belong to Christ. He is in me. This is something I really wanted to get out of this fast. I look forward to seeing more clearly who I am in Christ.
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