Day 10: Praying for Sudan

As Pastor Duane says, fasting is not always about praying for oneself. Wanting to pray for something bigger than my own life, I came across a prayer request alert from an organization I support, Samaritan's Purse. The prayer request regarded their Hope For Sudan project. Beginning yesterday, Sudan has been holding peaceful elections which will continue until next week to vote on whether or not the Christian south should secede from the Islamic northern part of the nation. Thus far they have been able to keep politically separate for the past six years under a peace agreement, which has now expired. Before the agreement, twenty years of civil war had ravaged the country. The church leaders in Sudan, together with Samaritan's Purse, organized a week of fasting and prayer across that country to support this referendum to split the nation for reasons of religious freedom. I first became concerned some years ago because of a display at the library about the ravages going on in this area. With these prayers being for such monumental change, I can't help feeling that my prayers are part of something so much bigger than myself. Receiving answers concerning direction from God is absolutely wonderful, but I like how taking my focus away from myself helps me keep life in perspective.

Day 9: suffering from the media fast

Pastor Duane, when first describing this fast to his congregration, urged his listeners to go on a media fast in addition to the Daniel fast in order to help disconnect themselves from the world. I have found this part particularly challenging, more so than I thought it would be. I was listening to worship music on the free internet radio Pandora when the following commercial played: "Want to keep connected to the world through news . . ." Integration with this world is the cry of this society, and it can take an effort to tune it out for a time. This is especially so for me with movies and tv. I didn't realize how I would miss them, for I considered myself to be a person that really doesn't watch tv that much, or netflix in my case. I am a Sci Fi fan, and I usually use it to relax. Now I am focusing away from watching netflix or youtube, reading secular fiction and humorous/interesting articles (you never know what could be in them), and listening to secular instrumental music (there's probably nothing wrong with these, but just in case).

Franklin says that your Christianity will cause you inconveniences. My friends are going to a movie next week and I had to say that I wouldn't be able to come. I am not going to complain though, because this self-denial is nothing compared to what others have given up for Christ. Still, it cost me something, and I know I'll have to continue to give up other things for Christ.

It has been both challenging and exciting to find new ways to relax. I brought out a newsletter from an organization I support but never had found the time to read till now. Christian inspirational stories are easy reads that are amusing and uplifting at the same time. The real struggle came when I was too tired to read. I won't watch tv and music is boring by itself. At the time, no one was available or willing to play a board game or just talk. Now what was I going to do? A friend suggested his favorite hobby, that is, drawing. That was perfect. Plus, I began to think of other possiblilites. I could develop a hobby I normally don't have time for. I like cooking (but that's out of the question for now), jewelry making, beading, candlemaking, photography, and scrapbooking. Any one of these could provide a creative and productive way to put itchy fingers to work. However, it may not be relaxing if my creative juices are dry at the end of the day. My search continues, but today was a little bit better as my whole family was home for once.

When I can find a group of people who want to play some board games or just talk, it is good fun. Even better, it brings people together into community that just otherwise doesn't happen consistently. I have spent this Sunday, this day of rest, catching up with friends and family, playing board games, reading inspirational stories, and filling drawings with color.


As I was thinking about the "tv" I used to watch, admittedly longing for a way to replace it, a somewhat embarrassing idea occured to me. I like to watch Britain's Got Talent. What if I saw a local production? I could, every day of the week if I wanted to, go to a live gymnastics show, play, magic show, ballet, talent show, symphony, orchestra, Christian concert, or other harmless event. I thought back to Medeival and Renaissance history. This is how kings entertained themselves. Much of human history has survived without tv. I need to go back and learn their ways. Besides, if children can find endless fun out of rocks, dirt, and cardboard boxes, I can find a way too.

Day 8

As Franklin says in his book, fasting is like a spring cleaning for the body. I normally perform stretches in the morning and they are not very hard to do. Even though I have not stretched in a while, they were even easier to do today. I consider myself to have been eating quite well even before this fast. Today however, I barely felt anything as dipped to touch my toes, stretched my legs, and worked my shoulder blades and my back. It may be winter, but I'm glad to be having some spring cleaning this season anyway!

Day 7

I've come to the one-week marker of this fast. Today, however, it has not really felt like a fast to me. There were a lot of tasty fancy foods presented to me today. I made myself a nice salad for breakfast. For lunch I was offered a free pass to a cafeteria while on a college campus. I went straight to the vegan section and topped my salad with a mound of tomatoes, chickpeas, split peas, green peas, gourmet raisins, and shredded carrots. When I sat down, the student next to me asked, "Are you a vegetarian?" I knew that question would be coming, so I prepared my answer in advance. "No," I said, "I just wanted a lot of vegetables today." Which was true. I didn't tell her I wanted to eat veggies for the next fourteen days. I got so full that the salad kept me over till supper, which was another filling dish of boiled butternut squash soup with cranberries, kalamata olives, beans, and other creative ingredients. On the side we had, yes, salad, with a homemade dressing.

I thought at that point, "okay, now I will not eat anything more." However, the youth group Access has just changed its leadership, and the new pastor invited us all over to his house. There, delicately placed on the kitchen table were an assortment of vegetables and dips. The new pastor, Blake, announced that the snacks were carefully made to be "fast-approved" for those members of the church who were participating. Admittedly, I had my fair share. I couldn't help feeling a little guilty for stuffing myself.

Daniel fasted from desirable foods. With so many good options out there now, I am battling with how to define "desirable" because I desire all the foods I've been presented with. Technically, I can eat all of them in any amount, so in that sense I didn't break my fast. Still, they are appealing. I think I'll try to be less liberal tomorrow and study more. I am going to need to find a balance here, especially when I do activities where food is a given.

Daniel fast, Day 6

After not eating anything for three days, I am never going to complain again (not that I ever did) about only being able to eat vegetables. It has made me very grateful for what I have. I can't tell you how good it feels to have something in my stomach. Those three days have taken a lot out of me. Even after having a meal last night, I was rather surprised to find how weak I was in the morning since I normally just pop right out bed. I pumped myself full of tomato juice and let it circulate. I feel so much better now.

The spiritual effects of that fast have left a lasting mark. As I drew near to the worshipers gathered tonight at Access, Resurrection life's youth service, I felt swept up into the praise. I sensed that I was more in tune to the things of the spirit, and it's possible that many others gathered there may have been too while fasting and seeking God in prayer. It was as though God's presence was there in an unusually strong way. I am glad I came and joined them tonight in worship.

I thought back to many other wonderful services just like the one I went to tonight. I thought about how easy it was for me to sing about how I have given my heart to Jesus and will do what he says. I meant it then and I mean it now. After those three days, however, those words take on a lot more meaning. It's easy to say I'll follow when I'm not experiencing the pain that sometimes comes from following. When I'm right there in it, as I was yesterday, it's a lot harder to sing those kinds of songs happily. Then I look at Jesus, who fasted forty days. Three is hard. His deep love for me really has started to grow down from my mind into the soil of my heart.

I believe Christ's love will continue to take root in my life as I journey through this fast.

The three-days fast: Day 3

It has officially been 36 hours now. I can't wait to finish this post so I can go eat. Yesterday was harder than today, but today was still difficult. My hunger never really died down, except in the morning. I weighed myself before and after the three-days fast to find I lost five pounds. Most people would be excited about this, but I'm not. I want to eat so badly and I feel like devouring a glutinous feast. However, from my other fasts, I know I will need to eat a little bit a time, or else I will feel uncomfortably bloated, even though I haven't eaten much, because my stomach has shrank. It has been very tough, but by God's strength I've made it all the way through.

As I mentioned earlier, my main purpose for fasting was to discover who I am in Christ and where he would lead me. Well, God has answered that prayer. I now have a more clear understanding of these things and will continue to grow in them, but I believe the basics I have long been searching for have been given me. Most of them were shown to me at a time that I really did not want to study, however, a verse came to mind that pushed me forward. In Franklin's book, fasting, of which I have read half, he says that assignments from God all have a birthplace, and fasting is a great way to discover these assignments. The verse that inspired me is found in Isaiah 66:9a: "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the Lord." I was in the pangs of childbirth, and the infant given birth was my divine purpose. Fasting is very hard during the process, but in the end, the reward is greater than the pain.

Tomorrow I return to the Daniel fast, and I'm trusting God to give me the strength to fast as I should.

The three-days fast: Day 2

It has been 48 hours now. Although the morning was rough, I felt better in the evening. I feel like someone has tied a rope around my stomach and pulled it tight. It seems to be too crammed together to feel hunger the way hunger normally feels. I'm still know I'm hungry, but in a different way. It is he kind that you know if ate you would feel energized, but not the kind where your intestines are crying out for something to process. Speaking of that, I'm beginning to feel my digestive system begin to turn off, but not completely. I expect that to happen tomorrow.

Spiritually speaking, I'm growing. I haven't had angels come down and minister to me today, but I have had some beneficial experiences. I find the most comforting thing to do while fasting is to praise God in worship. It helps me forget about my stomach, which is overcome by a sense of God's presence in a way that gives me strength to go on. Moreover, I've been fighting myself with strength I didn't even know I had.

One thing I've been learning is that fasting is not about learning to never desire pleasurable things again but about temporarily setting aside what I want to seek and focus on God. I may still desire pleasant things, but God will give me the strength to want what he wants more than what I desire and to temporarily not satisfy those desires for the glory of God.